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| 02:26am 02/12/2009 |
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drunk
that is all |
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| 02:36pm 30/11/2009 |
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thank you medications
i can finally not freak out |
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| 12:54pm 29/11/2009 |
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sometimes i just want to curl up in a ball and dissapear |
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| My first hate mail |
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| 01:43pm 27/11/2009 |
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So I was advertising for my work's upcoming classes on Fetlife, which is like Facebook for the fetish community. I'm in a group called "SF/Bay Area kinky Jews." As my work is run and owned by Jews I wrote a post titled "Upcoming Classes at Pure Pleasure (Jew owned sex store)". Note that I have made posts here before, they know me, and most other peoples title posts have something Jew-y in them.
Here's a message I got yesterday:
"Dear Avi, The use of the word Jew as you have used it is very inappropriate. Even used by a Jew, concerning a Jewish owned shop in a Jewish on line group give negative connotations any way you look at at. It looks instantly offensive. You have done a great disservice to the store and to jews. You have left your use of the word Jew up to individual interpretation. In the context you have used it it is most likely to be used negatively. You really should consider making an apology and explanation of your use of the word to the group and to the shops owners."
Keep in mind this guy is the grandfather of a girl I went to middle school with and his profile picture is him in a gimp mask.
wow. |
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| 01:36am 19/11/2009 |
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its been four weeks
why wont you see me?
WTF did I do?
barely returning my calls.
acting aloof
three years and youd think I'd know |
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| 11:51pm 17/11/2009 |
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not gonna lie
today i did nothing
kinda wish i did more
kinda dont
just sat staring at this screen for a while |
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| pretty good day |
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| 06:43pm 15/11/2009 |
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overall this day has been good
had a good talk with Jesse this morning, made me feel like we're back to normal. I think im getting more used to being away.
Lunch with Heather. <3
food shopping
drinking beer and watching lost
overall, pretty good |
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| 02:22pm 14/11/2009 |
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i hate considering ending our relationship.
grah |
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| 06:28pm 06/11/2009 |
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so I dont think I've mentioned that I have been blogging in my work persona (yes I have a work persona)
So if you want to read my blog about sex and stuff, it's pretty explicit but you know, so's life.
www.delvingintopleasure.blogspot.com
tell me what you think
I need to improve my writing, but eh. |
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| 05:16pm 05/11/2009 |
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and im still hurting |
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| 05:17pm 29/10/2009 |
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last night i walked into the bathroom at bondage a go go to find a girl bound and gagged on a toilet seat. I waved at her and she winked at me.
i hope someone let her free and she's not still there |
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| 10:26pm 22/10/2009 |
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rage has not subsided in me
i do not forgive easily |
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| 12:11pm 22/10/2009 |
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weird dream last night
it was the night before davey left for spain and we were hanging out with Lorenzo, Jeb, and my roomate. We went to this weird chinese/pizza place for them to get food, and then stopped by a party that i had to go to. It was filled with these people from my camper days, but i had a lot of trouble getting up the stairs. A microphone was handed to be but i had just taken a bite of cake and couldn't talk. Lorenzo informed me that they all wanted to go and were waiting outside. When I got there, Davey was no where to be found. Lorenzo told me that Davey had left early, went home to pack and already left. That he said it was easier to leave without saying goodbye to anyone. but my wallet and cellphone were in daveys car which he was taking, so i rushed back to his house. There was a hallway to get there full of spiders, and by the time I got there Kim was standing outside with letters to all of us from him. I refused to read all of mine, except something about him wanting to pay my rent to make up for all of this.
dreams
weird |
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| 02:02am 21/10/2009 |
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cant sleep
keep thinking about ashley
keep thinking about jesse
hell davey creeps in there once in a while. miss him, he'd know whaat to say to make me smile
heading over to secrets place |
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| 12:56pm 17/10/2009 |
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got extremely drunk by myself last night
called jesse and swore and said things i cant remember
damaged myself more than i knew possible
this thing is fucking with my head |
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| 07:26pm 16/10/2009 |
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dear work,
please start picking up more
so far i have twittered, facebooked, flickred, fetlifed, ljed, gmailed, fmylifed, and am now just playing cafe world
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| 12:18pm 16/10/2009 |
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it still stings
and as much as i appreciate peoples secret support, i don't really like the "if i weren't cast i totally wouldn't be doing the show" excuse.
sigh
ce la vie
you win some, you loose some
and i lost my family |
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| 02:21pm 15/10/2009 |
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I joined Slugs in Fishnets in the Spring of 06 when a handsome Spaniard asked me if I could stand in as his skeleton. Slowly I began to fall in love with the show, the people, the community. In the Fall I got cast. I remember screaming and running back and forth my apartment with my housemates staring at me like I was crazy. I was crazy, for this show. That Spring I was cast as director, and though I was scared shitless and felt unworthy, it was the greatest gift anyone could have bestowed on me. I was nervous, fumbed through rehearsals, fucked up on notes. I learned the ups and downs of "power", though in reality it was the cast that I was serving. After four years on cast I have learnt and grown more than I thought possible.
Thank you cast. Due to circumstances I will be distancing myself from the cast for my own sanity and safety. I can only wish you all well and hope you pass on the incredible legacy that is Slugs in Fishnets.
Love,
Avital
former director, Magenta, Riff, Frank, Pre-show choreographer, and most importantly Tranny |
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| 12:54am 15/10/2009 |
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once again The Last 5 Years explains how im feeling. Just take out the name Jamie and replace the one I'm thinking of. Oh, and change the sex.
Jamie is over and Jamie is gone
Jamie's decided it's time to move on
Jamie has new dreams he's building upon
And I'm still hurting
Jamie arrived at the end of the line
Jamie's convinced that the problems are mine
Jamie is probably feeling just fine
And I'm still hurting
What about lies, Jamie?
What about things
That you swore to be true
What about you, Jamie
What about you
Jamie is sure something wonderful died
Jamie decides it's his right to decide
Jamie's got secrets he doesn't confide
And I'm still hurting
Go and hide and run away
Run away, run and find something better
Go and ride the sun away
Run away like it's simple
Like it's right...
Give me a day, Jamie
Bring back the lies
Hang them back on the wall
Maybe I'd see
How you could be
So certain that we
Had no chance at all
Jamie is over and where can I turn?
Covered with scars I did nothing to earn
Maybe there's somewhere a lesson to learn
But that wouldn't change the fact
That wouldn't speed the time
Once the foundation's cracked
And I'm
Still Hurting |
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